#019: What is it that you do?

Hiya 🌊,

How are we doing?

It is still really hot here in the South of France, with some glorious pink sunrises albeit arriving a little later in the morning.

The fruit on my strawberry tree (arbousier) is beginning to drop which means it will soon be time for making jam.

Whilst I was away last weekend, a surprise courgette crop emerged. Just one little round cutie pie. Not quite the first round of vegetable growing I was hoping for but we learn.

I've been thawing out this week from Happy StartUps Summer Camp, where I got to spend time with several The Hype readers.

Although I thought I was prepared for the cold nights, I was still freezing. Going from hot nights here to sleeping outside was a bit of a shock to the system.

I'm really conscious that we can't all make live events, so I've popped my workshop up here and gifted my zine template, which you can remix and make your own for your next workshop.

I've had a few pokes in my confidence armour in the last week, which was fortuitous timing for this month's theme in Hype Yourself.

What do you do?

You know, this question used to be so easy for me. I run a PR agency. I did it full time.

In France, generally people don't seem to talk about work in the same way. I'm rarely, if ever, asked what I do.

So when someone asked me at Happy StartUps Summer Camp, I recoiled a bit inside.

My friend Vanessa Belleau caught me on it, I wasn't introducing myself with pride.

And I think part of that is because the majority of my time is spent looking after three kids who are only in school four days a week. On one of those days, I have one of them for two hours for a regular appointment with the orthophoniste.

By the time I deduct all the things I have to do for everyone else, I'm left with about 20 hours a week. And that's before I do any French learning, dog walking, exercise or anything else that is for me.

So, the question 'What do you do' feels complicated to answer and running a PR agency doesn't describe the life I've deliberately built.

Then, at the end of a PR mentoring call with a business coach this week, he asked me what I do.

I told him a bit about where I'd been and where I'd like to go.

And he responded that my brand didn't align with the story I just told him. There was a disconnect for him.

I had a visceral emotional response and felt myself turning red.

Was it because I was fiercely protective over Hadrien's design work? He is the cofounder of my kids, knows me better than anyone and had only completed it in the last year.

Or maybe, I just really didn't like the assumption that who I am is not how I'm really showing up in the world.

Or perhaps I had done a bad job explaining myself.

I went through and re-read my words on the site. No, this felt good - this is me I thought. (Followed by the ear worm of Look Out Because Here I Come).

Was I putting too much onus on someone else's opinion because I saw them as more successful than me?

This was someone with decades of experience in creating, buying and selling businesses before turning to business coaching.

And yet, my experience is in PR, personal branding and for a chunk of time working with Hadrien building brands.

Perhaps he could be great at what he does and wrong about my branding?

And whose advice should we be taking?

We are constantly sold the same blueprint metrics of success. Ok, I've not sold and scaled businesses. But that was never my dream.

If I wanted to make an easy income, I'd go back to running a PR agency. And yet, I didn't want to work full-time when my kids were little people. And I've created this new life for myself in France and I want to enjoy it.

Here is the rub.

I'm great at telling other people how to get themselves out there. I like to think I reframe Hype as less jazz hands and more inner confidence.

But, of course, the thing I teach others is often the thing I wrestle with personally.

And maybe confidence is being able to hear the opinion of somebody you respect and decide that you don't agree with it.

I also think I'm having to rebuild my confidence in different ways because I'm going through quite a major midlife transition.

From being an expert in communication to having to learn a new language.

From having the confidence to be visible in spaces where I know my shit to having to reverse around bends on a slope when a lorry is coming towards me in front of other drivers.

Is the struggle between what I want to do and what I'm doing?

When I had time and space to think on my third maternity leave in 2023 about what I wanted to do, the answer was clear.

I wanted to write. So I built the paid newsletter membership.

I gave myself three years to go all in on it. And as I'm coming up to three years, I've realised I haven't.

Some of that is because I love the other things I do. I love flexing my PR brain muscles with the one-to-ones, teaching, workshops and hosting retreat spaces.

But I also don't think I realised how much losing my entire Substack and having to slowly rebuild affected me. (Oh hi, income confidence.)

It made me run straight for other income streams to protect myself. So maybe this is the bit I've been avoiding.

I know what I want to be doing. I'm not sure I've had the confidence to go all in on it.

What will I say the next time someone asks what I do?

I think I'm going to say 'I help self-employed folks who are great at what they do but hate talking about it'.

Or if we are going job title specific? I'm the founder of Hype Yourself dot com.

What do you think?

The bigger question is maybe not what do I do? But what do I want to be doing if money was no object.

💡 One thing to do this week